When You're Too in Love to Let It Go
by peut-etre-poulet
Summary: SPOILERS: The Purple Piano Project - Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry; After an exciting encounter during the summer holidays Rachel arrives back to school believing Quinn to be her new girlfriend, but things don't go exactly as she had hoped.


**Title::..**When You're Too in Love to Let It Go

**Rating::..**M for a sex scene, adult themes and coarse language

**Spoilers::..**_The Purple Piano Project_

**Genre::..**Drama

**Characters::..**Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray, with mentions to the other Gleeks

**Pairing::..**Faberry

**Author's Note::..**Faberry is a pairing that I'm rather obsessed with and I'm also obsessed with punk!Quinn so this is my way of combining the best of both worlds. I think this may have been one of the first times of me writing from Rachel's POV and actually taking her seriously as a character, oh well, there's always a first time for everything. The dress Rachel buys for Quinn is a design I made up out of my own head and wish I could make for myself, because tulle is my wet-dream. The title of the fic comes from the Coldplay song 'Fix You', which performed (unfortunately) by the Glee club in early season three.

**Summary::..**After an exciting encounter during the summer holidays Rachel arrives back to school believing Quinn to be her new girlfriend, but things don't go exactly as she had hoped.

* * *

It seemed to Rachel that her girlfriend was acting as if she had something to prove. She didn't really understand Quinn's new affinity for black denim, but she thought the pink hair looked very cute.

It was clear Quinn was trying to put a distance between herself and the things she had inflicted upon herself last year. She wanted this new school year to be a fresh start, except she was taking this idea further than everyone else. She was forging a brand new character, turning herself into someone she thought was tougher and better.

But Rachel didn't think any of this was necessary. She had always viewed Quinn as perfect, even when she had hated the ex-cheerleader. She knew Quinn was strong, smart and talented. Quinn had nothing to prove to her.

Rachel had made this very clear to her over summer break. They had been spending a rare day alone, decorating the cheap apartment Quinn had found for herself. Quinn had gotten very upset when Rachel suggested they put some of the photos from Prom on display. She had snatched the frames out of Rachel's hands, saying she didn't want any reminders of last year, saying she had been a loser. Rachel heard herself repeating a lot of the speech she had given in the ladies room as they stood opposite one another in their beautiful gowns. She had spoken from her heart, thinking she was trying to make her friend feel better, telling Quinn how pretty and amazing she was.

Then Quinn had come at her – open-mouthed with groping hands. Quinn had kissed her so passionately Rachel had felt the warmth of Quinn's lips spread all the way down to her polka-dot socks. It was like being struck by lightning. Rachel had never experienced a kiss so magical in her whole life. She hadn't objected to Quinn removing her clothes, saying no to Quinn at this point may have seriously damaged her self-esteem. As Rachel reached her climax Quinn had murmured her most appreciative thanks, her voice husky.

Had Quinn forgotten about that? Rachel certainly hadn't. She had been thinking about it quite constantly ever since the encounter.

Every time she saw Quinn Rachel was reminded of that day. Not just because of the sex, although she did reflect upon that with great joy. She looked at Quinn in her new clothes and her new hair; sometimes she had trouble recognizing her. Rachel thought of all the things she had said (the unrelenting shower of compliments) and how she had meant every single word.

Maybe Quinn hadn't believed Rachel. Maybe she was so damaged she couldn't fathom anyone meaning such things. In that case Rachel was the only one who had something to prove. She had to make Quinn see herself through Rachel's eyes. She had to make Quinn believe her.

She opted out of a night by the piano with her dad's, instead climbing in her car.

Quinn didn't seem too pleased to see her. She was a terrible host, not offering Rachel a drink or engaging her in any small-talk. Rachel would have been deterred, but she was much more persistent than that. She reminded herself it was all a part of the act. The real Quinn was hiding, Rachel had to find her.

"What are you up to?" Rachel asked, her tone casual.

"Looking at stuff online. Lima's such a shithole; the only way I can get decent clothes is by shopping online." Quinn replied.

Rachel leant forward to gain a better view of the laptop screen. Quinn was looking at an extravagant dress. It was made of a shiny, translucent material. The bodice was similar to a corset with a floor-length tulle black skirt fanning out at the hips. Rachel smiled and reached out, fondly pushing back some of Quinn's hair. "I think that would look really beautiful on my girlfriend."

Quinn furrowed her brow as she looked at Rachel. "Your what?"

"I broke up with Finn for you." Rachel defended weakly.

"You shouldn't have done that." Quinn said. "I didn't break up with him for you; I didn't break up with him when I knew how in love you two were. I'm a terrible person."

"No, you're not Quinn. You're beautiful and amazing and you've accomplished so much. You just can't see it because you're so hurt." Rachel explained. "I don't know how you got like this, but you have to shift all of that pain aside and remember all that's incredible about yourself."

Quinn was looking away from her, staring at a wall instead of making eye-contact and Rachel took this as a sign that she was on the right track. "You sound so sure of yourself, like you know what you're talking about. Which is funny considering you don't know me at all."

"That's where you're wrong." Rachel informed her. "I know a lot about you, I probably know you better than those new friends of yours."

"They understand me." Quinn defended.

"Not like I do." Rachel retorted. "They don't know the real Quinn like me, because I sat next to you in Glee club for two years and watched you endure terrible things. I was always amazed by your grace; I've admired you for the longest time. It's just kind of hard to remember that now because I can't see the real Quinn when I look at you anymore."

Quinn stared at Rachel wordlessly. The tears shining in her beautiful eyes told Rachel her message had gotten through. It was almost like looking at the Quinn she had placed upon the pedestal in her mind, but not quite. Rachel worried Quinn might forget again. She quickly thought up the perfect way to make sure Quinn didn't forget.

Rachel undid the first button of the acid-wash denim vest Quinn was wearing. Their eyes met and Rachel felt breathless. She undid the rest of the buttons, sliding the sturdy material off of Quinn's pale skin. She felt dizzy as Quinn leant forward to allow Rachel to unclasp her bra. She looked over Quinn's bare torso, her mouth watering and her hands working on their own account at the girl's jeans.

"There she is." Rachel said when the final piece of clothing was gone. Her thundering heartbeat almost deafened her. Despite this she actually felt more relaxed than the rest of her time in the apartment had allowed. Quinn's shield was gone and it was easier to recognize her now. "That's the real Quinn." She looked over all of Quinn's revealed flesh and felt strangely at ease. She didn't feel self-conscious as she reached up and lowered the zip of her own dress. The mean Quinn was gone and Rachel was safe here with her. "I can see my girlfriend again now."

Quinn's cheeks flooded with colour. "You shouldn't say that. I don't deserve someone like you being so nice to me. You're so sweet and kind and I'm just a bitch, I don't even deserve having you sit next to me."

"Yes you do, you deserve everything in the world." Rachel told her. "You are worthy of being loved Quinn."

"It just doesn't feel like it most of the time." Quinn said.

"I know." Rachel caressed her cheek. "But maybe I could prove it to you tonight."

Quinn watched with wide eyes as Rachel stood up. She sat down on the floor, directly in front of Quinn. Rachel eased Quinn's knees apart and leant forward.

"_Fuck!"_ Quinn cried out, surprised by the first swiping of Rachel's warm tongue between her moist flaps.

Rachel had never done anything like this before. But she was used to being the best at everything she tried. This time stayed true to the rule with Quinn moaning her constant approval. Quinn grabbed a chunk of Rachel's hair and tugged. Rachel relished the stinging in her scalp this caused.

When it was all over Quinn was smiling. It wasn't a smirk. It was a proper, honest smile and it was one of the most beautiful things Rachel had seen. She hadn't seen Quinn smile so fully since their performance at Nationals, when they had still believed they could win. Maybe Rachel had given Quinn back her fighting spirit, at least for now.

Rachel sat on Quinn's lap, her arms around her girlfriend's neck. "How do you feel now?"

"A lot better, you're amazing Rachel." Quinn replied.

"If you ever get back to that place where you feel like no one cares about you and the world hates you and all of that you can call me and I'll come over and cheer you up." Rachel offered, it came out sexier than she had intended, but she didn't make any attempts to remedy this.

"I might have to hold you to that." Quinn said, pressing her lips to Rachel's in a deep kiss that made her feel as if her legs would be useless jelly for days.

* * *

Nothing seemed to change. Quinn didn't return to Glee nor did she return to her baby-doll tops. Her hair remained pink and her accessories remained as spiky as before. The girl was exactly the same, still troubled beyond the point of help.

This is how things appeared to the rest of the student body. But Rachel knew better, Rachel knew some significant changes in Quinn had occurred. She had stopped skipping days at school; she now attended every single day – if only to enjoy a heated make-out session in the backseat of her girlfriend's car during lunch. Although Quinn had no intentions of re-joining Glee club she always snuck in to the auditorium to watch whenever Rachel performed. She wasn't senselessly angry anymore. She was looking forward to graduating again and Rachel credited herself with this success.

No one knew because Quinn didn't want to go public with their relationship yet. She said she couldn't hold Rachel's hand in the hallway because she wasn't ready for the backlash this would certainly cause.

They met in secret, hiding beneath the sheets of Quinn's bed and learning each other's bodies.

Rachel told herself this was enough for her.

Until she realized it wasn't. She was a performer and she loved to make big announcements, she loved to be in the spotlight. She wasn't used to hiding and trying to shift attention away from herself.

She also felt like a hypocrite. Kurt was her best friend and she was always supporting him in the diversity he had to face. How could she encourage him to be himself when she spent all of her time hiding the most important relationship in her life?

She decided she and Quinn needed to come out of the closet they had become all too comfortable in. If they were going to do it Rachel figured they should do it in a big way. She wanted to do it in a way that she and Quinn could have complete ownership over the moment. She didn't think Quinn would like the idea at first, but Rachel knew she could be very persuasive.

"I have a present for you." Rachel announced.

Quinn paused in her task of clearing the table. They had just finished eating the delicious dinner she had prepared. Quinn was a spectacular chef; Rachel thought she would've made a great mom had she decided to keep Beth.

Rachel handed across the box and Quinn greedily tore away the wrapping paper. She lifted the lid and her mouth fell open. Rachel grinned as her girlfriend gently lifted the dress up and out of the tissue paper.

"Oh baby, this is too much." Quinn admired, pulling the last of the black tulle free. The shiny material of the corset caught the light perfectly, making the dress appear all the more attractive. "It's even more beautiful in person. Should I try it on?"

"Yes, I'm dying to see it on you." Rachel urged.

Quinn disappeared into the bedroom. Rachel paced the floor, going over what she should say in her mind. She was focusing on making her argument as strong as possible.

Quinn emerged, looking breathtaking. The dress fit her like a dream. Rachel had never wanted to kiss her more. Quinn looked like a Queen, different to last year she was a Gothic Queen.

"It's amazing. I can't believe you got it for me." Quinn gushed.

"It looks perfect on you." Rachel complimented her. "I hoped it would look so amazing and it does. It's the perfect dress for Prom, don't you think?"

Quinn furrowed her brow. "Prom? What are you talking about?"

"I think you should wear the dress when you come with me to Prom." Rachel clarified. "I will be wearing something glamorous, maybe even a little scandalous. Then we'll dance together under the disco ball, as girlfriends."

"Is that why you got the dress? To bribe me into going to Prom with you?" Quinn demanded. "I'm so disgusted, that's like something my dad would do. What the fuck, Rachel?"

"It's Senior Prom, we only get one and I'd like to spend it in the arms of my girlfriend while she wears a one-in-a-million dress." Rachel explained.

Quinn was stripping the dress off, shaking her head violently. "You can take the dress back because there's no way I'm wearing it. I will not be going to that stupid Prom."

"It's our last Prom." Rachel said.

"Well if you wanna go so badly you can take someone else." Quinn snapped. "Why not Finn, I'm sure he'd _love_ to go with you."

"Quinn…"

She had successfully freed herself of the dress and now that it was on the ground she gave it an annoyed kick. She raised her arm, pointing at the door. "Get out, I don't even want to look at you right now, _leave!"_

Rachel sat in her car and cried. She sobbed until she felt sick to her stomach. She felt helpless; all she wanted was to make Quinn happy. But it seemed the deeper she got with Quinn the more the rest of her life went off the rails. Everything had been so perfect at the end of last year, why had she messed all of that up? Was Quinn really worth all of this?

Maybe she was just a lost cause like Mr Schuester kept saying. Rachel thought it might be time to get out now, before Quinn could drag her down any further.

* * *

Prom Night finally arrived and Rachel didn't have to miss out. Kurt and Blaine stepped in to be her Knights in Shining Armour. She was very happy to be going along, especially after how much money she had spent on her dress. She was determined to have a good time and create memories better than last year. She was going to dance with her friends, discuss dresses with them and celebrate all they had been through together in this past year. It was going to be an amazing night, one that she would always remember – for all of the right reasons this time.

Rachel was determined to prove to herself that she didn't need Quinn by her side to enjoy her Prom. They hadn't spoken since The Dress Incident and Rachel thought this night was the perfect night to show how well she had moved on with her life. She didn't need a boyfriend or a girlfriend to complete her life; she felt this was a very important lesson for her to learn.

As she and Kurt posed for a cheesy photo in front of Blaine's camera Rachel reasoned with herself that she could never have this kind of fun with Quinn anyway. She was sure the aching in her chest would ease eventually.

Rachel felt like a million dollars in her dress. Despite the highly unusual theme she was having a lot of fun. Her two dates kept her twirling on the dance floor. It was already much better than last year. She thought she would enjoy her night a whole lot more if Finn quit staring at her from across the room. But aside from this she held no complaints.

When the crowd first began to part, heads turning in one direction, Rachel couldn't figure out what was going on. She pushed her way to the front of the crowd, overcome by curiosity; she had to know what could cause such a reaction. Even in her pumps she was still too short to see over everyone's shoulders and she had to fight her way past all of her suit-clad classmates. As soon as she emerged her mouth fell open to mirror everyone she stood beside.

It was Quinn. She had come to Prom and she was wearing the dress Rachel had gotten for her. She looked like a goddess, striding forward with her usual amount of confidence and grace.

Ecstatic Rachel rushed forward, moving her legs as quickly as her figure-hugging dress would allow. She couldn't reach Quinn quick enough. She was too blinded by her joy to see all of the staring faces and she didn't really care what anyone else thought. She collided into Quinn, wrapping her arms securely around the pink-haired girl's shoulders. She squeezed tightly, not intending to let go for a very long time.

"You're here; I can't believe you're here." She gushed.

Quinn stroked her cheeks, their noses bumping together due to their proximity. "Don't cry sweetie, you'll ruin your gorgeous makeup."

"I'm just so happy that you're here." Rachel said. "What changed your mind?"

Slowly the rest of the school recovered from their shock, returning to the dance floor. They danced without much commitment, still stealing uncertain glances at the entwined pair of girls. But Rachel didn't notice, the rest of the decorated gymnasium faded away in the face of Quinn's glittering eyes.

"I thought all about it for a really long time and I finally woke up to myself and realized you were just trying to meet me halfway and I was being a hard-ass, for no good reason." Quinn explained. "You were right when you said we only get one Senior Prom. So let's dance and have a great time and make up for all of the time we've wasted."

"Sounds perfect." Rachel grinned.

She leant in to seal the deal but Quinn didn't respond the way she had hoped. Quinn's eyes darted all about, checking to see who was looking.

Rachel was feeling far less shy, forcefully closing the gap between them. Quinn was rigid in her surprise at first. Rachel eased her tongue between her girlfriend's lips and Quinn relaxed with a moan of delight. Her hands slipped further down Rachel's back. _Best Prom ever,_ Rachel decided.

At the end of the night they recklessly shed their dresses and reconciled properly.

**The End.**


End file.
